


Zookeepers and Asses

by Lovelyziam



Series: Tumblr Drabbles [12]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, also titles are hard please forgive me for this one, ft. my attempts at humor, they're at a zoo!, zookeeper liam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2020-01-31 12:30:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18591319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovelyziam/pseuds/Lovelyziam
Summary: “Actually, it’s not a donkey.” Both Zayn and Louis swung around at the voice, turning to face a very attractive worker. Zayn was left speechless when he took in the man’s bright eyes and barrage of muscle. “It’s a mule,” the boy continued, and Zayn fell a little in love with the gentle way he spoke and the endearing curve of his lips.





	Zookeepers and Asses

**Author's Note:**

> Based on "It’s not a donkey. It’s a mule."

Out of all the dumb shit Louis has convinced Zayn to do in the 20 years he’s known him, this probably takes the cake. And maybe Zayn was slightly overreacting—because Louis was a bad influence, honestly, and they’ve done a lot of stupid things—but going to the zoo at 7:30 in the fucking morning was _insane_.

“Quit being dramatic, Zayn. It’s the fucking zoo. Not like we’re breaking any laws, here.” Zayn rolled his eyes in response to Louis’ harsh words. It wasn’t the zoo that was bothering him, it was the early hour and Louis’ sour attitude. He didn’t want to be here, thanks.

“Oh, now I’m the dramatic one? Literally all you’ve done since you picked me up is complain. If you don’t wanna be here, then why are we, exactly?”

Louis cut a glare in Zayn’s direction. “Fuck you, you know exactly why I’m here.”

And okay, Zayn did know, but, “It’s not my fault you waited until the last minute to do your paper. You’re the one that wanted to do it on fucking donkeys.” And really, Louis could have picked anything—their professor just wanted to gauge how much they knew about research papers. The topics to choose from were _endless_ , but Louis chose donkeys. He was pretty sure he knew why, but he’d never actually asked.

“But Zayn, think of it! Donkeys are the perfect topic. Do you know how many times I’ll be able to use the word ass in my paper? It’s genius.”

Zayn rolled his eyes so hard he thought they might fall out. That was the _exact_ reason he thought Louis had chosen them. He loved his friend dearly, but sometimes his definition of ‘genius’ was a little skewed.

“You’re ridiculous, and I still don’t understand why we even had to _come here_. Couldn’t you have just googled facts like the rest of us? There’s no reason for us to be stuck staring at a donkey at eight in the fucking morning.”

“Actually, it’s not a donkey.” Both Zayn and Louis swung around at the voice, turning to face a _very_ attractive worker. Zayn was left speechless when he took in the man’s bright eyes and barrage of muscle. “It’s a mule,” the boy continued, and Zayn fell a little in love with the gentle way he spoke and the endearing curve of his lips.

“What?” Zayn’s attention was drawn away from the boy and to Louis when he spoke. Zayn was just as confused as Louis sounded. In his defense, the boy standing in front of them was so beautiful it was disorienting. Zayn wasn’t entirely sure he’d be able to follow a conversation, not if this boy was going to keep smiling like that.

The boy cocked his head, his smile turning a little nervous, and God help him, Zayn was _endeared._ Why did this boy look like a human puppy? It was hazardous to his health, honestly. Zayn wasn’t sure he’d survive in the aftermath of this conversation.

“The, um, the animal behind you? That y-you called a donkey?” He looked at Zayn, making direct eye contact for the first time, and Zayn was pretty sure he was melting. Someone better call in the cleaning crew because soon Zayn would be just a puddle of mush under those warm brown eyes. “It’s not, um. It’s not actually a donkey. It’s a mule.” The boy brought a hand up to the back of his neck, a blush working its way up his cheeks as he adverted his eyes.

“They’re very similar because, well, mules _are_ the offspring of donkeys, but, um. They also are the offspring of horses, too.” The boy seemed to hesitate for a moment before continuing. “Male donkeys and female horses, to be more specific.” He chanced a glance back up at Zayn and gave a small, soft smile and, _fuck_ , Zayn now _knew_ he wasn’t going to survive this conversation. “I just, um, didn’t want you to have false information? I, uh, I heard you say something about an essay? And I didn’t want you to, um, be misinformed.” He finished with an embarrassed shrug, his hand finally dropping back to his sides as his face took on an even deeper flush.

It was official. Zayn was already 100% in love with this boy.

“Cheers, mate,” Louis said, and it was then that Zayn remembered what was going on. He was so caught up in the cute zookeeper that he forgot that Louis was even there. “You probably just saved my ass.”

The boy swung his own startled gaze over to Louis, like he himself had forgotten he was there. “Um, yeah, yeah. ‘Course. ‘S my job.”

Louis shot the boy a grin before turning to Zayn, and Zayn tried really hard to mask whatever expression he had there—Zayn knew he was more than a little endeared with this boy, and if anyone was going to be able to tell, it was Louis. He knew Zayn better than practically anyone, and the last thing he needed was a day filled with fucking ass jokes about the zoo employee. Louis thought he was clever, and he was relentless about it.

Zayn realized too late that he didn’t compose his face fast enough because he watched as a wicked smile stole over Louis’ lips. He was so, so fucked.

“Say, what’s your name, mate?” Louis asked as he turned to face the boy again.

“Erm, I’m Liam,” the boy mumbled. His face was still covered in that lovely shade of red, and Zayn was pretty sure his own eyes had formed into the shape of hearts. _Liam_. He really liked that name.

This was going to be a disaster.

“Liam, hmm?” Zayn had a sudden fantasy of kicking Louis. He had to physically restrain himself from actually doing so. “How much do you know about donkeys, Liam?” And Louis’ voice was absolutely diabolical, and Zayn knew he was going to regret whatever was about to come out of Louis’ mouth.

Liam stuttered a little in front of them, his body obviously tense with the urge to flee. Zayn didn’t blame him; he was fighting the same urge. Louis’ tone had suggested nothing good. “Um, a little, I guess? Not too much, I—”

“Because, you see, dear Liam, my friend Zayn here,” Louis gestured to Zayn, his smirk making dread sink into Zayn’s stomach. He was definitely going to regret the next words out of Louis’ mouth. “Just absolutely _loves_ asses, and I’m sure he’d love it if you could tell him all about the one you have here.”

Zayn choked as Louis’ words hit him, his eyes widening and his face flaming with embarrassment. Zayn wanted to _die_. Honestly, _fuck_ Louis Tomlinson. He was the worst fucking friend on the plant and Zayn was going to kill him.

“ _Louis,”_ Zayn bit out, and all Louis did was laugh like a fucking maniac. Seriously, he was dead. Zayn didn’t care if he spent the rest of his life in prison, Louis was a dead man. Zayn chanced a glance at Liam and felt his expression soften a bit at the timid smile on the boy’s face. Liam’s face was even redder than before—which was a feat, since it was pretty flushed before—but he also had a shy smile on his face that he was directing at Zayn. There was a barely concealed gleam in his eyes, one that was eerily similar to the one Louis had in his. It made Zayn’s breath come in short puffs thinking about the possibilities behind those playful eyes.

“I’m glad you asked,” Liam began. His shy smile curved up into a smirk as he met Louis’ gaze head on. “A little fun fact about donkeys is that they really enjoy rolling around with other donkeys, which I totally get.” He looked over to Zayn, before, “It’s one of my favorite things to do, too, though I prefer somewhere a little more comfortable than the dirt.” He shot Zayn a wink and Zayn couldn’t fucking _breath_. Liam, the seemingly shy zookeeper, had just made a pass at him. Liam had just suggested he liked rolling around in bed. Then he’d _winked_ at Zayn. Zayn was pretty sure his knees were about to give out.

Louis let out a delighted laugh next to him, and Zayn was once again drug back from his Liam consumed thoughts.

“Aww, don’t like getting all dirty, Liam?” Zayn felt his breath catch once again because, honestly, couldn’t Louis just _shut up_. Once again, heat rose in Zayn’s cheeks, but when he looked back to Liam he forgot all about his embarrassment. The gleam in Liam’s eyes from earlier had seemingly doubled. His smirk was wicked enough to rival Louis’ and _fuck_ , Zayn was in over his head. This boy was going to be the death of him and they’d just met. He hadn’t even _said_ anything to the boy. Literally not one word and he was ready to start planning their wedding.

“I never said that,” Liam began. “In fact, I quite enjoy getting dirty.” He arched an eyebrow at Louis before turning his gaze back to Zayn. He let his eyes slowly rake over Zayn’s body and Zayn’s knees almost gave out _again_. Liam’s gaze left a blistering trail of goosebumps erupting over Zayn, his skin heating up at the pure want obvious in his eyes. “Really, really like getting dirty.”

_Fuck_ , Zayn was going to die. Liam was going to make him self combust right here in front of the mule exhibit.

Louis let out a little choking laugh next to Zayn, drawing both the other boys’ attention. Liam seemed to come back to himself in that moment, a blush overtaking his cheeks once again as he realized what he just implied.

“Right,” he mumbled. “Well, I’m just going to, um, get back to work.” Liam took a deep breath, squeezing his eyes closed before opening them again. They landed on Zayn, Liam’s smile making him feel a little fuzzy. “Let me know if you need anything else, yeah?” He shot Zayn another wink, and Zayn decided he needed to start going to the gym. Really, his knees should _not_ be that willing to give out every time this boy so much as looked at him.

As he walked away, Zayn felt a lump rise in his throat. He couldn’t just let this boy _walk away_. He didn’t know if he’d ever see him again after this, and that left him feeling more than a little upset.

“I think I like him, Zayn,” Louis said. “He would probably be perfect for you.”

Yes, Zayn was well aware of that, and there was no fucking way he was letting Liam just walk away from them, not if he could go toe to toe with Louis like that. Plus, he was more than a little turned on right now, and from a _conversation_. If Liam could do that just by talking, Zayn couldn’t wait to find out what he could do with his hands. Zayn took off after Liam, anticipation running through his veins.

“Where are you going?” Louis shouted behind him.

Zayn turned around, walking backwards for a few steps as he said, “I’m not going to let the love of my life walk away without at least his fucking number, Louis,” before he ran into something warm and solid. Zayn felt himself freeze up, slowly turning around to be faced with none other than Liam himself.

Liam was smiling down at him, his eyes practically disappearing with the force of it. “The love of your life, huh?”

Zayn felt his blush return with a vengeance, all his words leaving him. Why did he have to turn into such a mess around this boy. “U-um, y-yeah. I mean, I was just, um, I was…” He trailed off as Liam’s smile softened, gazing down at Zayn with so much warmth it made Zayn a little drunk. “Can I have your number, Leeyum?”

Liam giggled, he fucking _giggled_ , and Zayn was already writing his vows.

“Yeah,” Liam said. “You definitely can.”


End file.
